Saturday, November 22, 2003
oooh i just came back from the celebration of meitong's bdae.. heh yeahhappy 18th birthday to ya meitong..hope ya enjoyed yourself with us..well i had a great time..it was fun..real fun!! havent had this gathering for like so long!! heh..
hmm...well met up with christine,shurong,yulian,xiuting,ym,dougson,weilin,fiona,kavan.meitong..
so cools..heh.
well..previous day was xiu's bdae and we went to fiona's house to celebrate..it was equally fun as well..me and yulian fried the french fries and nuggets whilst fiona cook the fried rice and weilin make her pasta..
yummmy like a food galore..nicey nicey food..
well just wanna wish xiuting a happppy 16th birthday as well..
stay swwweet and funky as well..heh =)
after the party we went to eat the prata at my house's nearby..nice and delicious..heh
well ym had to go down monks and serene went home so the rest of us which consists of me,weilin,yulian and xiu went to play cards till two in the morning..heh very fun but my brain was not functioning already..heh yeah but it was great!!
hmm..i am missing her alots.. i dunno why everywhere i go, everything just remind me of her..could be the bus stop,town or the mrt or my house downstairs, basically everywhere that i have been with her just seems to have her shadow..no i am not lying..its crap i know..i have to let go...or rather learn to let go..but damn!! its difficult!!
Unknown
this doubt is screaming in my face
in this familiar place sheltered and concealed
and if this night won't let me rest
don't let me second guess
what I know to be real
put away all I know for tonight
and maybe I just might
learn to let it go
take my security from me
and maybe finally
I won't have to know everything
I am falling into grace
to the unknown to where you are and
faith makes everybody scared
it's the unknown the don't-know
that keeps me hanging on and on and on to you
I got nothing left to defend
I cannot pretend
that everything makes sense
but does it really matter now
if I do not know how
to figure this thing out
and I am falling into grace
to the unknown to where you are and
faith makes everybody scared
it's the unknown the don't-know
that keeps me hanging on and on and on to you
I'm against myself again
trying to fit these pieces in
walking on a cloud of dust
to get to you
I am falling into grace
to the unknown to where you are and
faith makes everybody scared
it's the unknown the don't-know
that keeps me hanging on
Somewhere In Between
I can't be losing sleep
over this, no I can't
and now I cannot stop pacing
give me a few hours
I'll have this all sorted out
if my mind would just stop racing
cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
this cannot be happening
this is over my head
but underneath my feet
cause by tomorrow morning
I'll have this thing beat
and everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy
cause I'm waiting for tonight
and then waiting for tomorrow
and I'm somewhere in between
what is real and just a dream
would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
don't be surprised if I collapse
down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don't need this
cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
this cannot be happening
cause I'm waiting for tonight
and then waiting for tomorrow
and I'm somewhere in between
what is real and just a dream
Posted by Giselle at 11/22/2003 08:04:00 AM
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
hmm...did my principles of businesss management paper..well was relatively easy cause the stuff i have studied came out..phew that was lucky heh..well..came back kinda tired and all and gotta prepare for my accounts paper on thursday and then take a break before having my law and FIT paper on 26 and 28 respectively..
guess what.. i am feeeling so nostalgic now plus..yes plus i am listening to BON JOVI!!
oh man so you can imagine what i am feeling now all over my head..dash DASh dASh daSH and dash and i am suppose to stop myself..what the hell am i thinking..
alright i really like all the BON JOVI's songs...oh man NEVER SAY GOODBYE is damn depressing!!
well didnt mean to contradict myself and all..but i really wanna bring myself to forget about her thats why i am not messaging her or anything..
i wish that this was just a facade so that i wont have to go through so much pain just to forget her and all but sadly not!!
shurong you should know how i feeeell cause you are going thru the same phase as me..maybe meitong too..
hmm..i really hope everything will turn out fine..For now i do not or rather will not get involved in anything involving matters or affairs of the heart..
i wanna thank ym and weilin and yulian for asking me and all..rather surprised but thanks..it means alot..heh..
anyway weilin dyed her hair on fiona house a couple of days ago..its not that bad abit lianish though but its quite alright..still as pretty heh..
well anyway i gotta end now..take care peeeps.. =)
****damn this is so hard to do, i am missing her so much.
i think i am gonna take a lifetime to forget about her*****
well this song is for her..everything i wanna say to her is in this song..
//For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me//
// It's the hardest thing
I'll ever had to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you
I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind
Like Dr. Zhivago
All my love I'll be sending
And you will never know
There can be no happy ending
Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to, I can't stay
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back//
//You want commitment
Take a look into these eyes
They burn with a fire, just for you now
Until the end of time
I would do anything
I’d beg, I’d steal, I’d die
To have you in these arms tonight
Baby I want you like the roses
Want the rain
You know I need you
Like a poet needs the pain
I would give anything
My blood my love my life
If you were in these arms tonight
I’d hold you
I’d need you
I’d get down on my knees for you
And make everything alright
If you were in these arms
I’d love you
I’d please you
I’d tell you that I’d never leave you
And love you till the end of time
If you were in these arms tonights
We stared at the sun
And we made a promise
A promise this world would never blind us
These are my words
Our words were our songs
Our songs are our prayers
These prayers keep me strong
It’s what I believe
If you were in these arms tonight
If you were in these arms tonight
I’d hold you
I’d need you
I’d get down on my knees for you
And make everything alright
If you were in these arms
I’d love you
I’d please you
I’d tell you that I’d never leave you
And love you till the end of time
If you were in these arms tonights
Your clothes are still scatteder
All over our room
This old place still smells like
Your cheap perfume
Everything here reminds me of you
And there’s nothing that i
Wouldn’t do to be in your arms
And these were our words
They keep me strong
I’d hold you
I’d need you
I’d get down on my knees for you
And make everything alright
If you were in these arms
I’d love you
I’d please you
I’d tell you that I’d never leave you
And love you till the end of time
If you were in these arms tonights//
//I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love in suicide
You say you're cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore
Now I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance, girl
I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you
I know you know we're had some good times
How they have their own hiding place
I can promise you tomorrow
But I can't buy back yesterday
And Baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your valentine
I'll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drink, I'll be the wine
I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you
And I wan't there when you were happy
I wasn't there when you were down
I didn't mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out
I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you//
Posted by Giselle at 11/18/2003 04:01:00 AM
Sunday, November 16, 2003
hmm..its with a heavy heart that i am writing this blog..the reason being i have come to a decision, a painful decision..
i have decided to let go of dash..yes many people will be surprise i know..
its a hard decision cause i have been struggling within myself to find what i really want.
well..yesterday me and dash talked on the phone till around three plus and yeahs i am happy but i can feel a gap not those kind of awful silence, but those unexplainable kind..
well, i can still feel the sorrow whenever she talks about her ex..nopes i am not jealous,really,cause another reason why i fell for her its because of how devoted she was to her ex..i know how she feels towards her ex..i can feel the excrutiating pain in her and i felt so sad for her..its been seven years and she love her ex so much, i totally cant compete with that..the devotedness and dedication for her ex is so overpowering that i admire in her alot..
perhaps the sentence "it doesnt matter if unable to go eternity, at least you get to love each other once" (hope its correctly phrase) is what i can use to describe about us now..
well actually i have been looooking back at our past. i realized that i didnt really do much about us. she is the one that wrote quotes for me, asked to meet up and initiate those phone calls conversation. Its only when i lose her then i realized the importance of her in my life.. damn!! i guess whats goes around comes around so i cant blame anyone for that..
hmm..many a times i wanna let go but there's always something thats holding me back. until one day, one of my friend told me as quoted ' Nobody should ever makes you miserable, especially the one you love' i was pondering over this quote for ages..
and somehow i just seems to have woken up, like what dash said that during this time she was really depressed over her ex and she just woken up..
well i am not sure if i am able to really let you go but love is sacrificial aint it..
i am gonna try my best and be there for you and all regardless of anything this i swear..you're still a very special person in my life and there's nothing i wont do for you.
i will still continue to be there and all but i wont ever tell you how i feel cause i dont wanna add to your burden..i wont fight with anybody over you anymore but i will fight for you to be safe if necessary..all the memories we have are well kept in my heart forever sealed with a kiss..
"This I Promise You"
When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call,
Was standing here all along..
And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you
I've loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never...
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun...
Just close your eyes
Each loving day
I know this feeling won't go away
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you..
This I promise you..
Over and over I fall
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn't be living at all...
And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you baby
Just close your eyes
Each loving day
I know this feeling won't go away
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
"Born To Try"
Doing everything that I believe in
Going by the rules that I've been taught
More understanding of what's around me
And protected from the walls of love
All that you see is me
And all I truly believe
That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
No point in talking what you should have been
And regretting the things that went on
Life's full of mistakes, destinies and fate
Remove the clouds look at the bigger picture
And all that you see is me
And all I truly believe
That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
Posted by Giselle at 11/16/2003 03:36:00 AM
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